Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Should Marriage Come First...?



Soo once again we find ourselves back at the round table discussion. This particular topic has been gaining momentum in our fan based section, so we had to address it.  We are simply asking, should a man and woman marry before they decide to live together?
Okay so as tradition has it, this concept was pretty clear cut. The woman would stay at home with her family while she was actively dating her man. She would not look to move out of the house until he has asked for her hand in marriage. Hopefully, the man has already sought out her parent's blessing before he bended his knee. For whatever reason, today this procedure has become less attractive. It appears that many couples feel more comfortable sharing their household before they share their vowels...What happened..? 

Both sexes and couples shared their opinions on the topic and we saw valid points on both sides.  Some women expressed that they would like to stick to the tradition, making the man earn and prove his intentions by committing himself to marriage first. These same women were also fearful of the idea, that if she decided to shack-up first, that she would forever be a live-in girlfriend. Essentially believing that he would never purchase the cow, for he getting the milk for free. This idea may even provide security for the man as well. He can at least feel that when adversity arises, the option of divorce is just not that easy. Divorce can be brutal and sometimes costly(lol).  We also found others that viewed the process differently.  They expressed the idea of living together first, served more as a trial period. They felt there were important issues that needed to be known by both parties before any documents were signed in the eyes of God.  Dealing with daily living habits and sharing your finances with someone, stood as the top two reasons why these individuals needed a crash course first.

So just which idea will ensure the stability of the family. Is this not the goal here? We can journey through the inner city neighbors and visually see that the family structure has been broken.  Is this because less couples are choosing marriage first?  We do know that the common law of marriage has been removed, making it a must now to seek proper legal documentation for the couple to join as one. This topic is far more deeper than three paragraphs, being that there are so many different perspectives.  Pending your religion and nationality you could feel strong about either side...
Check out the video below as the artist explains why he felt it was important to get married. He and his wife are now divorced, I wonder did they live together first...Im Just Saying

12 comments:

  1. I personally think a man and woman should live together first. Just because living habits can be strong managing money can be a deal breaker. I DO AGREE IN THE EYES OF GOD we can get through anything. just seem like taking a step first gives more insight

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  2. Me and my husband married FIRST and we are happily married 5 years this coming February.

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  3. i wanna know the statistics, on when a woman moves in does the man actually

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  4. Alright, alright, alright...I'm Just Saying addressing another excellent topic!! My personal view, which is rooted in my upbringing and religion, is that you should not "shack up" before marrying. I still am very adamant about that. However, times have changed, viewpoints and perspectives are different. If you choose to live with your partner I think it should be because you PLAN to marry…..in the near future!! Otherwise we run into situations previously mentioned with women feeling as though they’re forever the live-in girlfriend AND the man getting very comfortable. With that said, if the goal is to ensure the stability of a family I don't believe to shack or not to shack is the issue. I'm sure many of us can cite examples of couples who did both. I don't believe their choices guaranteed that they would or wouldn't have a successful lifelong marriage. There is no clear cut, right or wrong answer. IMO, failure to COMMIT to your marriage (relationship) DESPITE the financial issues or personal habits of your partner is the true issue and what hinders the solidarity of a family.

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  5. @Que I like your response...There is no rite or wrong answer. Whatever works...I personally feel that I would like to live together first...just because I feel people let their guards down at home...Home is suppose to be comfortable. So both parties get the real character...if a problem yes The faith in God. Should keep u together along with counseling...But for whatever reason people are not staying together even if they are in the Church...but I will end with that I believe that a relationship that puts God first. Has a better chance to last

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  6. It's my religious belief that marriage should come b4 living together however, living together is truly a test 2 how committed the couple is 2ward 1 another. They say U never really no sum1 until U lived with em. I was lucky enough 2 have married my best friend. I'm now divorced but we R still friends 2 this day. I personally don't want 2 play house.IM JUST SAYING!

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  7. I would like to do the traditional way, marriage first. Same time I can see how some would want the exposure before hand

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  8. I personally feel like you should live with a person first before you tie the knot. Im never getting married lol

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  9. I think that the commitment of forever really scares people. How can a trail period determine the successof being together forever? A person never stays the same, there will always be new things you will learn...trial period??? No way! Man up and get married!! Im just saying!! Lol ;)

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  10. I have been living with my other half for 4 year and we have been together for 11 years. I can not imagine being married to him before living under the same roof. You learn so much about yourself as well as your partner while sharing a space. I believe it all depends on the person and their view On whole marriage issue. To me marriage does not define my relationship or our commitment to each other . So I agree that there is no right or wrong answer as others have stated. It all depends on the people so do what works best for you at the end of the day.

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  11. Marriage should definately come first. Living together first proves nothing. Going to premarital counseling wear those issues are discussed is the better option.

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    1. Shawn, I so agree with you! What does living with someone before your married prove? Nothing except that they are the SAME person you'd be living with AFTER you got married. Whatever "issues" or "Living habits" people are afraid of, should be ironed out in counseling! :-)

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