Thursday, August 11, 2011

Who Needs A Father...?

The title can be taken many ways... It could be looked as a thought provoking question that could be asked in the black community to many children who are missing their fathers.  It could be looked as a statement coming from the women of the family who took over when dad left. Either way the familiar story is, mom(grandmom or aunt) is working 1-2 jobs to support the household while dad is absent. There are many stories, excuses and reasons why dad is absent and truthfully some are justified. Whatever the reason is the children seem to pay the heavy price. The females seek that father figure for the emotional support, and the males look for the teachings and preparation for a life of uncertainty.  Some feel that if more fathers were in the home in the black community, its possible that the senseless killings would decrease and more black males would look to better themselves...Hmmnn Sounds good to me. Until that happens we can only hope that this generation has learned from their fathers mistakes. Shout out to all the fathers doing their job raising their kids and somebody else's. A special thanks to all the women strong enough to handle all the pressure that comes along with being a single parent in this world today...Check out the old school video on absent fathers.
"Growing up I found it strange to see my grandmother putting on my fathers' pants, Surprisingly they fit"...


  1. Hey Writer...there is no need for me to rant on this post because I definitely fit in that category of a young man who grew up without a father! So I agree, it's very unfortunate but as young man with multiple resources, friends who Should be motivating each other, and one who is alert to all the secular negativities for a fatherless kid, I feel it is time we go and tell the world and those absent fathers We Are Doing What You Should've Taught Me To Do!!

    But one thing for certain, it does (at least for me) HURT that one person indirectly told me throughout my life that I wasn't worth HIS TIME. There really ain't no feeling like that. But the anger and determination has helped me fight off that pain!!

  2. I agree with the writer, the absent role of positive men in our children's lives is taking a toll. Even though couples split a man must still be there to support and nurture his family. For a man his children are his life line, the carriers of his name and whatever it stands for.

  3. Ok... I love this topic for 1 because it should be talked about more, especially in the black community. Men in general used to be looked at as the provider, conqueror, general if his family & the community. Men wouldn't let violence or drugs take over the communities. With this being said, it's 2011 & things have drastically changed. But 1 thing should not change, and that's a father taking care of his children...

    That's the case today. Many fathers have abandoned the family and has left mom to raise the entire family. Now fathers leave for various reasons, and while some relationships can't be salvaged, a man should not let anything stop him from seeing or caring for his children. Bad Cycles are meant to be broken, but most just let the cycle continue.

    These young fathers today have either not had a father or father figure around to show and teach them how to be a real man or father. You can see it from the senseless killings, to the abandoned children with no hope, no love for another human being. And I will say that most of these behaviors are done out of anger. Anger for not knowing their fathers, wondering why their fathers left, and blaming theirselves for their fathers leaving. Which isn't right, but seems to be the only ways to cope with it.

    I was blessed (and I thank God everyday) that my father was there & is still there for me. The wisdom, strength, & just pure being of him helps me become a man more & more each day. The stories he tells, the way he cared for his family & others gave me a different outlook on the world. Now my father isn't perfect, but he is a MAN.

    I applaud the fathers out there now that are taking care of their responsibilities, and would like to tell all fathers that are not for whatever reason that it's never too late to be a part of your child's life. Never never too late. Most children think about both biological parents every day of their lives if they have never met them. So please please put that ego away, go to court, jump through hoops, but see your children. It's not about the money, but the time is something that you can never get back...!!!

  4. I love to see this, wish we could air this type of discussion. In my home its just me and my 2 sons. I like to think that i am doing a good job both get good grades in school and neither has had any trouble with the law(thank God)..Ages are 14 - 17. However I do struggle with thos man to man talks, just feel like some conversations should be held amongst men.

  5. Excellent topic it’s sad that there really aren’t enough fathers in the home in the African American community. But I believe if we as women surround our children with positive male role models they will have the experience of what a real man should be. Most women these days just expose their children to whatever man they meet probably less than a month if that… just because they talked on the phone everyday or took her out to eat. It used to be a man would really have to be involved with the woman before she would let him meet her children. Most of these kids now and days are messed up over the fact that daddy isn’t there but mommy gets a new friend every 3 months. They are so impressionable that the single mother forgets the child’s feelings. And attends to her needs of wanting a man... There are brothers out there who step up to where the brokenness was left. But if the woman continues to be selfish by not looking for outlets to provide a positive male role model in the kids life such as young male church actives and the Boys Club just to name a few. Then the cycle of fatherless children will continue. A woman no matter how hard she tries can’t teach a man how to be a man. They need to see a positive man in order to grow up to be positive men and some day be a DAD to their children…